Chapter 4

We were driving towards the mall when we passed a restaurant.  

"Hey guys, can we eat first?" I asked rubbing my tummy. 

"Nika, where do you want to eat?"

"Shit at the moment I don't  even care." 

"Well, do you want to go to Applebee's?"

"Yeah, that sound cool. Lunch is on me today. Showing my gratitude for you guys coming and being my friends and loving me." 

"Nicki you don't have to do that."

I cut her off."But I want to so leave it at that." I smiled giddily as we pulled into Applebee's. 

We walked into the place and was immediately seated. I was happy about that.

"Hi, I'm Julie, I'll be your waiter today. Do you want to start with some drinks." Let's just say they all ordered an fruity alcohol beverage while I got a nice strawberry lemonade. 

"Thanks, I'll be back with you drinks shortly." We all smiled as she walked off. 

"Nika, what's up, you usually order a mango margarita." Candi asked confused. 

"I'm just not drinking. I've decided to stop for a while." 

"Mmmhmm." Lauren said giving Thembi the eye. Julie came back with our drinks. 

"Are you ladies ready to order?" 

"Yeah. I'll have the Caesar Salad and chicken."

"I'll take the same thing actually."

"I'll take the the house quesadilla."

"Uhm, I'll take the Steak house double cheese burger with a side of macaroni and cheese and seasoned fries. With a side salad." I said. Looking up from my menu I saw everyone's eyes on me. Even the waitress. She quickly broke her gaze. 

"Okay I'll be back with those orders" she said taking the orders front the table. 

"Aye Nick, don't you think that's a lot of food. You gone eat all that?" 

I felt the tears pooling in at the bottom of my eyes. Was she calling me fat? "I'll be back." I said getting up and going to the bathroom before they could see the tears flowing down my face. I sat at the sink. Onika get your shit together. Don't let them see you cry. Walking out of the bathroom and back to the table all eyes were on me. 

"Nika, you okay? I didn't mean to offend you."

"Your okay Candi." 

"OMG! They got you calling me that to?"

"HAHAHAHA!! I like that. It's cute. Candi. My Liddo Lady Bug Candi."

"God Nicki, please to ever use all those names in one sentence again."

-•-•

Walking back into the house I saw my mommy sitting on the couch. I dropped my bags on the floor next to the door and plopped down I the couch next to my mom. 

"Hey Mommy."

"Hey Onika."

"Mommy what's wrong?"

"Nicki, I'm worried about you. You haven't been the yourself. I noticed it when we first got here. Onika, what's going on?" I'm so tired of people asking me what's wrong. GOD, nothing is.

"Mommy I'm tired of people asking me that. Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired and worn down. I need some off time and that's what I'm getting."

"Maaaa!"Cai yelled from the kitchen cuttin out conversation short. 

"Boy, stop yelling."she yelled getting up to see what he wanted. I followed and saw my kitchen in total disarray. 

"Cai, what happened to the kitchen?" I asked with a look of shock on my face. 

"Well, me and SB saw that you were up. And I wanted to cook you dinner. He said he was going to help, but he got a call and had to leave. So I was Doing it on my own. But as you can see it didn't work." He said sadden by what was happening. My mom was about to speak. I cut her off already knowing what she was going to say.

"Hey Cai, how about we clean this up, then we can cook together. How's that sound. 

-•-• 

The dinner table was scarcely quiet. It was awkward. Nobody spoke. Ma just looked at me with questioning eyes. Cai was oblivious to the elephant in the room. And Safaree who decided to finally grace us with his presence sat digesting with the table clothe barely eating his food. 

"Hey Nika?" Cai said looking at me. 

"Wassup?"

"What would you think if I got a girlfriend?" I nearly choked on my food. 

"What!?! Cai you have a girlfriend?"

"No but I was thinking about it. I'm fifteen. Girls like me. Why not, ya know?"

"Cai, I don't know." My mom and Faree looked amused at the conversation.  

"Nika please? I've already talked to mommy and Pop about it. They said if it feels right go for it." Go for it. Love that is. Why go for it? It's not worth it. You just end up broken hearted in the end. Yeah that feeling of love is great but shit, that feeling is only temporary. It's not permanent.  But who am I to crush his dreams. Who am I to break his spirit? 

"Cai, if they say go for it. Then I say go for it." I smiled reassuringly at him. 

"Good cause there's this girl I'm  really feeling. She looks kinda like you actually. She shorter than you, she has really long hair like you, she's really curvy. She's weird and awkward  but she makes me smile. I like her. She makes everything funny. Even the worst situations feel okay when I'm with her, or even talking I her. When she asks crazy questions in serious conversations it makes me laugh. And she gets angry because she says 'she's serious'. I want you to meet her. "

"Of course I want to meet her. The next time I come to New York she's the first person I want to meet."

"K Nika. I can make that happen."

After that dinner started to lighten up. I walked in to the kitchen after grabbing every bodies plates of the table. I volunteered to clean up the kitchen. I was loading the dishes into the dish washer when SB walking into the room.  

"Hey Nick."

"Since when do you know how to pick locks?"

"What?"

"The girls said you picked the lock on my door Wednesday night."

"Oh, I've known my whole life. Just didn't need to use it till now."

"Oh."

"Nick, wassup?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You been acting funny the last few months."

"I'm fine just sad and happy about this vacation time. Sad not to see my fans all the time, but happy for a break is all." I'm getting so good at telling these lies, I'm starting to believe them myself.